Matriarchy is not the opposite of patriarchy

I stumbled across an article the other day stating that teenage boys in some European countries are becoming increasingly negative towards feminism and gender equality.

It’s deeply concerning - and it made me pause. We are supposed to evolve, not move backwards.

What is it that scares young men so much?
Is it the idea of having to respect women as equals?
That women no longer depend on them - that we are sovereign - and that this is experienced as a loss of power?
Or is feminism being misunderstood as women wanting to sit on top, simply reversing patriarchy instead of dismantling it?

I can’t quite wrap my head around it. But I am certain it is rooted in fear. And in a lack of understanding.

At some point, society shifted into a deep power imbalance between men and women. For a long time, I blamed Christianity - or the Abrahamic belief systems more broadly. To be fair, they are built around the idea of a male god. The central figures, prophets and intermediaries are men, positioned as the link between humans and the divine.

But when you look further back, it becomes clear that these religions were born into an already patriarchal society - even if they undeniably reinforced and cemented it.

I know this will step on toes. But if we want to evolve, we have to be willing to look at things as they are — not as we were taught to see them, or as we wish they had been.

Many social mammals live in matrilineal or female-led structures, where older females carry knowledge essential for the group’s survival. It makes me wonder why we, as humans, moved so far away from that.

And before you react - matriarchal societies are not the inverted version of patriarchy, with women placed on top of a pyramid. They are structured very differently. Circular, relational, and oriented around life itself. The wellbeing of the young and the continuity of the group are central, and decisions are made with the future in mind.

At its core, a matriarchal system is organised around responsibility rather than dominance. Cooperation rather than competition. Care rather than control.

A balanced society where we cooperate, protect our children and care for all.
Like a large, warm grandmother’s embrace - holding us together in her wise, steady arms.
Doesn’t that sound healthy and safe, for all of us - including men?