Three Cases Exposing a Broken System

A small child being dragged from his home by Swedish police, the dark childhood of an 18-year-old attacker, and a mother who was failed by society. Three cases exposing a broken system.

Children being pawns 

A heartbreaking video has been circulating on social media since yesterday. It shows a crying boy, "Little A", being dragged by Swedish police from his home to be forced into his father's custody. The footage is hard to watch, and his cries for help are unmistakable - cutting deep into any mother's heart.

No sane adult would subject a child to this, yet it happens every day across Europe and the US, where children have become pawns for abusers to keep harming women after separation. It is recognised as post-separation abuse, yet it remains legal in most countries, prioritising "fathers' rights" over children's well-being.

During my years with the Swedish movement Vi bryter tystnaden (We Break the Silence) and providing financial support through Respira, I was in contact with hundreds of mothers and children in similar situations. I will never forget one mother whose son was chased by police under identical circumstances - when he once managed to escape back, he had done in his pants from sheer terror.

Or the recorded court hearing that was sent to me, where a psychologist, in the role of an "expert witness", stated that she had been part of many forced transfers to fathers and that children eventually get used to it. With a lightness in her voice that revealed a complete lack of empathy, she said: "I have even seen children so fearful that they were throwing up, but it will pass."

These are not isolated stories - this is a pattern. A legal system playing right into the hands of abusive men, while destroying mothers and children.

Violence breeds violence

Last week an 18 year old boy entered a school in Sweden, stabbing students with a sword, resulting in the death of a 17 year old girl. A few days later his father came out in an interview telling his version of the perpetrator's childhood, and it became clear that this outcome could have been prevented - if the system had worked in favour of mothers and children.

His wording was that the mother "disappeared" when the boy was seven years old, but the interviewer reveals that the mother had a restraining order against the father and rather had been forced to escape. Why the father was awarded sole custody remains unknown, despite him having restraining orders from several women - a clear pattern of his character. In 2004, social services finally intervened after severe neglect,  physical and psychological abuse, withheld medication and food, deprivation of needed glasses, and forced martial arts training. But apparently, the harm was already done.

When a mother is left without support

Simultaneously, the trial of Lindsay Clancy in the US is being broadcast, unravelling a horrific tragedy. As hearings began, thousands of women immediately recognised the toxic dynamics, and Lindsay received massive support both online and outside the courthouse.

What emerged was the picture of an exhausted mother of three young children left alone with deteriorating mental health, while her husband lived a parallel life of boys' nights out and ski trips. A telling detail is that she had searched online for "how to deal with a psychopath" - an obvious cue shedding light on the atmosphere in that home.

Whether this dynamic was a contributing factor or the root cause of her mental breakdown, what is clear is that the healthcare system failed her completely. Doctors over-medicated her instead of identifying her actual living situation and providing the real support and intervention she needed.

A verdict has not yet been reached, nor has there been a truly thorough investigation. But one thing is clear: in a society that genuinely prioritised the protection and support of mothers and children, those three little ones would likely be alive today.

All three cases point to the same failure: a refusal to centre the safety and needs of mothers and children.

The Matriarchal Alternative: building a healthy future

When I advocate for a matriarchal future, it is not about reversing the power pyramid to oppress men. The matriarchal framework is circular, placing mothers and children in the centre where they belong - protected and cared for, as they create the future.

A patriarchal framework is fundamentally built on dominance, power structures, men on top and women below.

A matriarchal society is instead built on life-sustaining values:

• Protection at the centre: The safety and well-being of children and mothers would be a priority in every decision affecting them.

• Collective responsibility: The adults around them - authorities, neighbours, the justice system - would hold a collective responsibility to protect the child from trauma, rather than enabling it.

• Care as the foundation: Resources and decisions would be guided by what builds long-term health, attachment, and safety for the next generation.

You would never steal a cub from its mother in the wild - yet, we allow it to happen systematically to human mothers and children under the banner of "legal justice", in favour of "fathers' rights".

We cannot continue to act surprised by the mental health crisis among young people or by domestic tragedies as long as we uphold structures where mothers and children are reduced to collateral damage. We need to shift the focus from control to protection. From patriarchy to matriarchy.

Support & Resources

If you are currently experiencing post-separation abuse, I have created a short, practical guide to help you navigate communication, setting boundaries, supporting your children, and taking care of yourself and your nervous system: Navigating Post-Separation Abuse

For a complete healing journey to recover from abuse and reconnect with your true self and inner power: The RisingFem Guide

Both guides are available in Swedish here: Navigera Eftervåldet och RIsingFem guiden på svenska

If you don't know where to start or have any questions, please don't hesitate to reach out via email at hello@risingfem.com.

I speak Swedish, English and Spanish.