Spiritual Abuse in Intimate Relationships: When Narcissists Hide Behind Wellness and Spiritual Masks

Sep 11, 2026

One thing that surprised me when I first connected with women who sought healing from narcissistic abuse, was how often the perpetrator worked in a profession where we naturally seek safety and healing. There was the priest in a high position, the renowned life coach, the peaceful yoga instructor, and other trusted persons in the wellness community.

Wolves in sheep's clothing

This is important: Narcissistic abuse is common in areas where there is a leader in power over vulnerable people - it's their perfect playground. People with narcissistic or psychopathic traits hide behind masks and they prey on vulnerability and empathy. The Church of England is so aware of this that they actually implemented comprehensive psychological and psychometric personality tests when screening new priests, to identify these destructive and power-seeking traits.

What Is Spiritual Abuse in a Relationship?

Spiritual abuse in a relationship occurs when a partner uses religious scriptures, beliefs, or spiritual authority to manipulate, control, dominate and harm the other person. It is a form of psychological and emotional abuse where faith is weaponised to maintain power.

When a man holds a position of trust as a spiritual leader, coach, or healer, he already has built-in authority. When he brings that into a intimate relationship, it creates an even more harmful dynamic, because breaking free requires you to dismantle not just the relationship, but your belief system and core values.

Signs of Spiritual Abuse

Scripturally or spiritually motivated control: The partner uses quotes from holy scriptures, spiritual doctrines, or "divine laws" to demand submission and justify their control over you.
Spiritual superiority: Positioning themselves as "spiritually more mature," an enlightened guide, or the direct voice of the Divine.
Isolation from "low-vibrational" sources: Forcing or pressuring you to cut ties with family, friends, or support networks under the guise that they are "unhealed," "toxic," or a "bad spiritual influence" on your path.
Spiritual gaslighting & shadow work weaponization: Reframing your natural reactions to their abusive behavior as your own internal faults - claiming you just need to do more "shadow work," heal your inner child, or raise your vibration.
Toxic destiny traps (Twin Flames & Soul Contracts): Weaponising concepts like "Twin Flame relationships" or "Soul Contracts" to convince you that emotional pain, betrayal, and abuse are simply "lessons" you are destined to endure, making it feel like a spiritual betrayal to leave.

Why Is It So Harmful?

Spiritual abuse attacks a person's innermost core – your faith, worldview, and sense of safety. It not only harms your mental health, but your whole essence.

Ready to Take Your Power Back?

If you want guidance on your healing journey from an abusive relationship, you will find the complete roadmap and toolbox inside the RisingFem Guide:

👉🏼Explore the RisingFem Guide Here